What is the best advice I ever got? I really struggled with this writing prompt. Not because I haven’t received empowering and encouraging advice from both my parents throughout the years, but because the advice that has had the most impact for me is very personal.
The best advice I ever got came from my friend therapist, after many months of talking together. It’s funny how the simplest of advice can have the most impact. She told me that I had a choice – a choice to choose to not be a victim and a choice to be happy. She said to stop worrying about things that I didn’t have any control over, and instead focus on how I react to those things. It might seem like a simple or obvious thing to some, but when an event happens that leaves you feeling unsure or afraid – it’s not so obvious or easy. Although the random act that changed my life happened as an adult, I was still deeply impacted. I was spinning my wheels and worrying about something that I didn’t have any control over. Once I realized I was putting my energy into the wrong thing, it was such a release. I no longer dwell on the bad or the past, and make the choice on a daily basis to be happy… live my life to it’s fullest… be successful… make a difference… smile… laugh… and love my family.
Although I may not have control over some things that happen in this world, it’s empowering to know that I have a choice in how I react. I can either let it take me down, or I can choose to overcome it and make the best of a bad situation.
She said I have the power to choice how I react to the things I cannot control.
It would be easy for me to play the blame game, and stay hidden away in my shell. Choosing to not be a victim and choosing to be happy helps me to succeed. I will forever appreciate my therapist, Jean, who shared the most simple of words with me – yet changed my life in such a remarkable way.
There are many people who have given me great advice throughout the years. I try to be like a sponge and soak in all the experience and knowledge that others have acquired and learned. I am fortunate in that I have wonderful girlfriends who don’t mind sharing advice and talking about the tough subjects. I think it’s important that women share experiences and give advice to each other, and that’s why I am excited about the “Change the Cycle” Campaign by NovaSure.
Wise Woman Contest
Change the Cycle is a community where women who suffer from heavy periods can share their stories and learn about solutions. They have launched a new Change the Cycle Facebook page, and during the month of April they will be running a Wise Woman Contest asking women to share the best advice they ever received. The grand prize is a spa weekend getaway for two to Sedona, AZ followed by 10 runner-up prizes of $100. I encourage you to like Change the Cycle on Facebook to be a part of the conversation, and share the best advice you ever got. Whether it’s a parent who told you to aim high or a boss who helped you move up in the company, share your story. Maybe you’ll win!
What is the best advice you ever got – was it from a parent, boss, teacher, or friend?
This post is sponsored. However, all thoughts are completely my own.
I love the advice your therapist gave you. I too have suffered something that left me with PTSD as well as anxiety so I feel you there! I will be checking out this “change the cycle” and see what other great advice there is out there!
Thanks Leila! I know there are so many people like us out there. It seems like the most simple advice, but is truly life changing.
i was a victim of things as a child too. like you, i choose to change the cycle. i made a conscious choice to not have that define my life but make it part of who i am, and make me stronger. thank you for sharing
I went to therapy when going through the divorce and learned so much from her, but I also learned that there’s probably a lot of stuff my mind is protecting me from and it’s my decision to leave it that way.
I’m glad you’ve worked through your victim mentality and choose otherwise! Yay for you seeing you in a a couple weeks!
I know what you are saying. A lot of my memories have come out in bits and pieces, after being suppressed for years. Can’t wait to see you!
I totally agree with you!! I work w/ a therapist when I am at work and we talk about this subject once a week. Great tip!!
I’ve been in therapy through different phases of my life and it’s been so helpful to my growth.
I had a bit of PTSD as well when I saw a co-worker being assaulted outside the TV station where I worked in Youngstown, OH.
It was an incredibly confusing scene and I didn’t immediately open the door to help him get inside.
Thank you for sharing your life lesson.
It’s impossible to know how we will react in a situation like that. I think most people would freeze.
While I understand this advice, it’s a sensitive thing. I don’t think the message should be that you can’t mourn your tragedy or be affected by it, because if you force yourself to try to not be influenced by it at all, you’ll just be putting on a mask because you ARE affected by it, you know? While I think we should try to avoid “allowing” ourselves to be victims, I cringe a bit when I hear everyday people givin advice like this because it feels like ” get over it” which can be really damaging words to hear (or feel that you heard) when you’re suffering through a tragedy, even if you’re dealing with the affects years later.
I totally get what you are saying, and agree that there are some things in life that you can’t just get over. I hope this is not the message I have given. I certainly haven’t gotten over what happened to me, but the advice I received from my therapist was after many long months of therapy. It certainly is not for everyone, but has helped me tremendously. My intention with this post was not to dole out advice, and I hope it hasn’t been taken as such. I typically don’t share very personal things on this blog, but wanted to be truthful in writing this post.
Melissa Rheinlander says
That is not all what I took from the message!! I also have been to therapy for several reasons and have worked at a therapeutic treatment center and have given others the very same advice… it is not a message of get over it but to not let what happened define who you are today, yes it had a part in creating who you have become but don’t let it rule you!! Personally I think this is great advice!!
Sounds like your therapist was able to give you some great advice!
I love that you were able to find something that truly helped you!
I love this approach. There have been a number of circumstances in my life that I could have let bring me down. But after allowing myself some time with them, I too had choose how to continue on in my life. I love this advice and am glad your therapist was brave enough to give it to you!
Sounds like some very wise advice from your therapist. I would say the best advice I have ever received I’ve gotten a lot of great advice over the years, much of it from my dad and my friends. I’m quite lucky to have/had so many great people in my life willing to share their wisdom with me.